Psycho

Have you ever called someone this or have you ever been labeled a psycho? I really hate that word when it comes to relationships. But, the sad fact is, I’ve said it and I’ve been called it. Why was I called psycho? I was the one who would call, and call, and call. I just didn’t get the hint at times and my need for being accepted was overwhelming. The need to be wanted literally took control of me sometimes-not in a physical way. I knew what I was doing was ruining any chance I may have had with someone, but the need to know right now took over. I needed to know right now if that guy was interested in me. I needed to know if they really did want to see me again. I needed someone else to validate that I was worth something. WOW! What a horrible way to live your life. I knew I was a good person but that wasn’t enough, at least not then. Once I figured out that I was worth more and actually started believing that I was a beautiful girl (believe it or not, even pretty girls can think they are ugly), the relationships got easier. I wasn’t in such a rush for the other person to be in my life. I was happy just being with myself.

So is there really a need for the label of “Psycho” in relationships? You bet! If someone comes at you with a knife, or stalks you, or tries to date your mom just to get close to you (ha ha, no that did not happen to me-I think I saw it in a movie once) - Yes, I believe the label of “Psycho” would be fitting here. Just be careful where you point that word. You may aim it at the innocent and cause some deep pain, or you may actually hit the right target and be in line for some pain yourself (watch your back for some shinny pointy objects).

Know what I don't like....

I bet this is one of the biggest topics when it comes to dating or just friendship. I'm talking about the " I'll call you" line. Let's face it, we've all said it a thousand times and we haven't always meant it. Why do we do that? Do we think we are doing the other person a favor by letting them think we are going to call and then don't? Are we so insecure ourselves that we can't tell the other person, " sorry, I just don't think it would work between us"? We even say it in casual conversation with friends when we really have no intent to call that person at all. Maybe we think that we are just so damn special that by telling the other person we'll call it will make their day. Is it so hard for us not to say it? Seriously, just keep your mouth shut and move on.

How many times has this happened to you? Did it hurt or upset you? How many times have you done it to someone else and not even thought about what the other person felt when you didn't call?

No, this hasn't happened to me lately nor have I done it to someone else lately. Just reflecting on the past.

Let's call him Dave!

For the purposes of this post let's call the guy Dave. Dave and I met on my 22nd birthday at a club with some friends. I know it is said that you shouldn't meet guys at a club, but at that age isn't that where most of us meet people? Anyway, Dave and I started seeing each other and things were going great. (Don’t they always in the beginning). So what happened? Well, come to find out that Dave never considered us dating. Excuse me? What the hell do you call it when you go out to dinner, watch movies together, go out with other couples all the while holding hands and kissing.( yes, eventually sex) I should have known better when he slept with one of my friends, but I let him back into my life anyway. See, clueless! This "not dating" went on and off for over a year. I had finally had enough of Dave coming over to my house after a night out with his guy friends, drunk. After countless time of telling him to go home and stop knocking on my door he finally got the message. Can you believe I had to tell him several times on several different occasions to go away? I can! After all, what do you expect when in the beginning I would say go away and then just give in? Dave finally got it and stopped coming around when I stood my ground and he knew I wasn't going to play that game anymore. At least I thought he got the message, that was until I ran into him again about 7 years later.

I was out with a girlfriend of mine when I ran into Dave. He had since been married, had a child, and gotten a divorce. He let me know about the divorce within the first 30 seconds of seeing him. He hung around and talked with me and my friend the rest of the night. When my friend and I left, I took her home and then went straight home to my house. I got out of my car to find out that Dave had followed me home. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!! Who did he think he was, who did he think I was? I immediately let him know that he was making me uncomfortable and I wanted him to leave. I think the look of shock on his face was about the same as mine. I couldn't believe he thought I was the same person. Needless to say, or in Dave's case it might need to be said, he got in his car and left. I received a couple of phone calls from him in the next few days, but I was not interested in going down that road again.

So there are at least two things to be learned here, one of which you'll see in later posts it took me a while to learn. First, if you don't like the way your significant other is treating you, STOP letting them treat you that way. Seriously, what do you expect if you keep letting it happen. Second, don't assume someone you knew long ago is still the same person. It might be worth trying to find out if they have changed, or it might not.

Just Ask

I am married to a wonderful man, not perfect, just wonderful. The road to this relationship was a very, very, bumpy one. I dated the jerks, and I've been one. I look back now and say, "what the hell was I thinking"? Was I really that clueless?

I have seen and been in relationships with all sorts of people. I may not have a degree in relationships, but I sure have had enough life experience to know when things are working for someone or when they have become the gum on the bottom of his shoe. Believe me I've Been There, Done That!

As I go down memory lane and discuss these oh so wonderful past relationships, feel free to ask questions. But remember, only ask if you want to hear the truth.

Names in my stories will be changed to protect the innocent, or mostly guilty as the case may be.